Boys Golf Shoes

A couple have two beautiful daughters and decide they want a boy. As it happens, the next time the wife falls pregnant she gives birth to a boy. The husband looks at it and can't believe his eyes. "This is the ugliest baby I've ever seen. How can I have had such beautiful daughters and then such an ugly son? You must have been cheating on me!"

The wife looks back at him and says, "Not this time!"

And number 2:

A man is having an affair with his secretary. After spending the entire afternoon in bed with her, he suddenly realises he is late for dinner. He quickly gets up, and as he gets dressed, he asks his secretary to wipe his shoes on the grass and mud outside.

Later when he gets home his wife asks him, "Where have you been? I've been waiting ages and the office didn't know where you were!" He replies, "I can't tell a lie. I've been having sex with my secretary all afternoon." She takes one look at his shoes and says "You lying b*****d! You've been playing golf again!"